He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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