got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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