So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
