Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
