i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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