Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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