but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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