Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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