Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
