I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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