Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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