Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
