Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
