The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
