Sober January is a disaster.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Can I color on your dick again?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
