you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
