Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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