it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So many bounce houses so little time
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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