Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
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I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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