So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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