He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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