Please, let me fuck your mom
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
