I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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