I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
