who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
