Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
