New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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