he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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