Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
