Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
