Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize