Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
