did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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