i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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