What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
