Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
