We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
