just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
