we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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