my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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