we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
