Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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