so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
