You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
