It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
