So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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