I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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