oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
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He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
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Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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