You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
