There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
