I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
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you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you made out with another girl for some wings
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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