Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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