He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize