In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
