yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
