I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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