i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
