i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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