Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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