trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
