Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
