you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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