it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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