Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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