You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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