Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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