I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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