May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
