I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Randomize
