I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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